When Mike and I adopted two of our children (at ages 7 and 13) through the foster care system, we were warned that children who’ve been in the foster care system for a while come with “special needs.”  They often act out to test their newly adoptive parents to find out if they, too, will abandon them as their birth parents have.  Sometimes they wonder if they are loveable and act out because then if you also leave, they can justify it in their minds telling themselves it was because they misbehaved, not because they are innately unlovable people.  It becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophesy- they think you will leave them so they act out and then, sadly, some adoptive parents do leave.  We were told that it’s not uncommon for older children who are adopted to be returned to the state within a year.  Imagine the pain and continued damage this causes!

The adoptive parent who adopts a child does so with the intent to welcome them into their family forever, but is often unprepared for the emotional upheaval and difficult transition ahead, especially in the first year.  Out of frustration and the belief they aren’t able to help the child, they bring them back because the child misbehaved one too many times.  Yet, it is their unconditional love the child needed most.  It is the security of knowing that nothing they do, no matter how bad or how often, can cause the parent to stop loving them or abandon them that ultimately could heal the child, and help them grow into the daughter or son this family dreamed of when they chose to adopt.  Some adoptive parents stick it out, even though the first year is more difficult than they imagined possible.  They choose to show love and offer forgiveness.  Each time the child gives them a reason to turn away, they draw nearer instead.  They demonstrate the unconditional love they received when they were adopted as God’s child.  They offer the same forgiveness they receive from their Heavenly Father.  They assure their adopted child that nothing can cause them to stop loving them and that they are now a family, and family is forever.

In Biblical times, a father could disown a biological son, but not an adopted son.  Perhaps that’s why the Bible uses the imagery of God adopting us.  Perhaps it’s God’s way of letting us know that NOTHING can separate us or cause God to disown us.  God’s love is unconditional and forever.  God claimed you as his forever child in your baptism and there’s nothing you can do that will change that.  God will never leave you nor forsake you.

Read I John 3:1-2, and remember: God loves YOU unconditionally!!

Annie