Dedicated to Georgina, Linda and Marlene
In memory of Gerard, Phil and Tom

Comfort the sorrowing, an admonition which we use often, but one that is difficult to implement. How do you comfort the widow married to the same man for 75+ years, 54+ years or 25+ years? All three men were caring and loving spouses, involved in their communities and friend to many. They will be missed.

As Christians, we are expected to offer comfort and compassion. But how? Is there a correct phrase or the proper word that will wipe away this sorrow and bring the survivors’ lives back to normal? How long are we expected to bring comfort?
It takes courage to face our friends when they are in such distress. I wish for my magic wand that will make everything right again. But that magic wand has long been broken and replaced with a more dependable solution: faith in the God who loves us with all His Heart and wants us to live with Him forever.

I have found that words are not as important as the willingness to be present for the sorrowing person. Present for as long as needed, staying non-judgmental and patient. Stephen Ministers practice this principle all the time, being present for their care receivers, bringing the presence of God into the relationship. Remembering that they are the caregivers, Christ is the cure giver.

Recently, I attended Phil’s memorial service in a local synagogue. I am tempted to reproduce all the beautiful and comforting prayers and poems from this service, but I won’t. However, I will share the closing prayer with you: God Full of Mercy:  God of abundant mercy, God Most High, may the soul of our loved one, who has gone the way of all things, find the gift of perfect peace in Your presence. May his memory be for us a blessing, and may we never let the light of his love grow dim in our hearts… Shelter him close beneath your wings for all time… May he rest in peace. Amen.*

Remember that the presence of God is always with you. Remember that “God is our source and our destination.”* Remember that God loves you unconditionally.

Terri

*El Maleh Rachamim-God Full of Mercy