I don’t interview well. I was meeting with a congregation for the first time prior to their vote on extending me a call. A woman asked me, “What’s your main thing?” I thought for a moment. “Well, right now in my life my main thing is trying to stay out of God’s way.” I got the call anyway although the lady who asked the question left the church soon after I arrived. Maybe she misunderstood what I meant.

What I meant by staying out of God’s way wasn’t that I was trying to hide from God like Adam in the Garden of Eden, but that I was trying not to let my wants and demands prevent God from using me the way God wills. It’s a tough thing to do. I always want God to do things my way. It is an ongoing spiritual struggle for me.

It’s not a new phenomenon or unique to me. Johannes Tauler, a Dominican friar, preached about people who desire to be close to God, but who try to control and shape the relationship rather than leave things to God. “Their faculties are imprisoned in their sins, from which they can not free themselves” (Sermon 5 for Epiphany). So true.

I’ve spent the last 25 years at least trying let go of my need to control God and live in the freedom of Christ. I haven’t succeeded yet so I’ll just have to be patient and wait for Christ to receive me into his mercy where none of my demands will matter any longer.

Read John 8:31-36 and remember: God loves YOU unconditionally.

Wayne