When I was a young person, I thought I had life by the tail.  Everything in my life came fairly easy to me.  I was a good student so school was not difficult, I was a fairly decent singer so I got the leads in the musicals, I was a fairly good athlete so I qualified to go to the state track meet and I was a good speaker so I was selected to give the commencement address at my college graduation.  I had a fantastic family who was always supportive, wonderful friends who I could count on whenever I needed them and boy friends who were great guys who treated me with respect and love.  It seemed almost a charmed life.  I don’t say these things to be boastful. At the time, I thought it was just the way it should be.  However, through my life experiences these past 65 years, I have come to know that may be how it “should be” but it is not often how it is.

My first experience with a big failure was my first marriage.  I married my college sweetheart because it was part of the “plan” and how it “should be”.  As I was walking down the aisle of the church, I knew I should not be doing this, but everyone was there and what could I do? We were married for two years and we divorced.  It was a horrible blow to me, not so much because of losing my husband as the divorce was a mutual decision, but because I had failed.  The biggest decision of my life up to that time and I had FAILED.  I was disappointed in myself for not being successful and I was very concerned my parents would be horribly disappointed in me.  I was living in Chicago at the time and they were in South Dakota and I kept it from them as long as I could.  Finally, I told them, afraid of the disappointment in their voices. They told me they were sorry this happened but they certainly did not want me to be unhappy for the rest of my life.  Their reaction to my failure somewhat lifted the burden I felt, but I still felt this sense of failure and I didn’t know what to do about it.

Time marched on and things did not always go as I wanted.  The older I got and the more life experiences I had, the more disappointments I experienced.  Some were of my own doing, but most were just life happening. It was during this time I met my “now” husband, we moved to Wyoming, started new jobs and lives as the economy in the Chicago area was not good and we both lost our jobs because of downsizing.  It was also during this time I returned to church, started listening to the little voice in my head that told me “This is where you should be and this is what you should be doing”. 

We had good jobs, we had a daughter and raised her there, we became part of the community, made good friends and had a wonderful faith family in our church there as well.  We were blessed. It was during this time I truly developed the trust that God had everything under control and the plans He had for my life were beneficial.  I realized I must cooperate with those plans and be an active participant in my own success and salvation. Life would happen and would not always be to my liking, but I would be okay.  I would have failures and disappointments, but I knew I would be forgiven and loved.   My failures brought me back to my faith and once again showed me that God loves me unconditionally through his death on the cross.  The hymn Amazing Grace always reminds of this as well.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.  I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.

The same holds true for our move to Florida.  We are here because God led us.  We are where we are supposed to be for this season of our lives and once again, very blessed. Thanks be to God!

Patty