I have been struggling for a couple weeks.  My husband and I returned to Wyoming at the end of June to get our house ready to sell.  We had renters for the last four years.  The family that rented for the first three years were wonderful renters and all was good.  They actually recommended the couple that rented for this last year. We trusted their judgement since they themselves had been so good.

The house began to be shown in early June. After the first showing, our realtor notified us there were some problems that needed to be addressed because the house was a “bit” of a mess.  Upon hearing this, we thought we would have to do some deep cleaning and maybe a little touch up painting. We would be there maybe a week and be on our way. Such was not the case.

We drove up to our home late on the afternoon of June 30 and were stunned.  When we walked inside the house, it was even worse.  Our home looked like it was in a ghetto, both inside and out.  The yard was overgrown where there WAS grass but there was a lot of area that was dead.  The vines and vegetation were so overgrown it looked like a jungle.  The inside of the house was trashed…way worse than our realtor had indicated as I think she was trying to be nice.  I just stood there and cried, a combination of the horror and fury of what I witnessed.  My former lovely home looked and smelled like a dog pound.

We quickly determined this was not going to be an in-and-out job.  We spent the next 13 days tearing out flooring, repainting the entire interior, replacing damaged appliances, doors, cabinets, and the list goes on.  We are not spring chickens so this was very hard on us physically.   Twelve hours of physical labor a day is not for the faint of heart. 

My dilemma is of course how to deal with my anger over this debacle.  I have stewed and fretted about this. I tried to call the family of renters but of course they didn’t answer my call which was probably a good thing because I had planned what I was going to say and it was not going to be very nice. This anger about their total lack of respect for us and our property is eating at me.

 I know I need to forgive them for the time, energy and money they have cost us, but I am really struggling with this issue.   The Lord tells us to forgive people for their transgressions against us in Colossians 3:13: Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

I know in my heart I need to do this, but in my head, I am not there.  The longer I hang on to it, the angrier I get.  Hanging on to things like this poison our souls and destroy us.  I need to forgive as I have been forgiven and extend the same grace I have been given. Forgiving someone who has caused you pain does not say that what they did is okay, but it releases them to God and helps us let go of its hold on us.  I know the answer to my dilemma is asking the Lord for guidance with this matter.   I am sure I will never love this person unconditionally as God does us, but I pray and hope that at some future time I will find it in my heart to forgive as God has instructed us to do.

Patty