I’ve been blessed with a few remarkable friends.  Heather was one of those friends.  We were both in our early twenties, military spouses living overseas, and newly weds when we met.  When the wives got together, it often sounded like a gossip or complaining session about our husbands.  Heather decided to try something different.  She decided to try speaking only positive things about her husband in front of others.  This is a bit of advice I still use today.

When you choose to speak only positive things about those you love, you will notice more positive things about them and begin to appreciate what they do.  They, too, will appreciate you noticing these things and will begin to put more effort into what you notice about them.  Your words will influence how you feel and how your spouse feels and acts, strengthening your relationship.

Likewise, I know several couples who have adopted children.  Some of those children came with difficult pasts and big challenges.  Michael and I can speak firsthand about this.  In the first few months after adopting, we sometimes found ourselves explaining to others that our children were adopted while advocating for them or explaining their behavior.  Then one day I realized it sounded like we were removing ourselves from our children a step.  We stopped doing that and simply call them “our children.”  It’s amazing how this seemingly small thing affects our relationship.  They began to feel loved and accepted unconditionally and, as an unexpected side benefit, their behaviors began changing positively.

So, when you’re talking about a loved one, be careful how you choose your words.  Words are powerful tools that can influence behaviors and affect relationships.  Read James 3, and remember: God loves YOU unconditionally!

Annie

Today’s reading: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+3