I found this story in a sermon by the Dominican friar Henry Suso. “A disciple asked his teacher how to become perfect. He told him to go to where the dead were lying and to praise them lavishly for awhile and then criticize them bitterly. It was all the same to them. ‘So should you be,’ said the master.”

There is a strain in Christianity that urges people not to be moved by the praise or criticism. I’ve got about half that down. I don’t take praise seriously, but the least criticism cuts me deeply. Many years ago I preached a sermon in a Teaching Parish congregation. I think several people on my review committee said nice things about my sermon, but one man objected to my using an illustration from the cartoon Peanuts. The only thing I remember clearly is the criticism.

I have frequently run into this reaction among Lutherans–remembering criticism and forgetting praise.  The advice I give is simply to ignore the critics, but the illustration Suso gives suggests there is more necessary. We can’t be dependent on other people’s praise either. I’ve counseled people for years that if your happiness is dependent on what someone else says or does, you’ll will be unhappy most of the time.

Few people can develop this dispassionate mindset so I encourage people to be kind to others in their words. Offer praise and be gentle and helpful in making criticisms. As is written in Proverbs: “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (16:24).

Read Proverbs 25:11 and remember: God loves YOU unconditionally.

Wayne